Birthday….

Today is my 50th birthday and I should be happy.

But I’m terrified! It’s scary that I feel so old and wonder about my life and what do I have to show for it.

How much longer do I have to enjoy life?

That’s why I try to live in the moment because we could all be dead tomorrow and I wasted all of my good days worried about what’s gonna happen in the future and none of us know, it’s the great unknown.

My body aches every day and gets worse as aging continues. I used to wish for it all to end but I have my family holding me here.

Just the thought of not being here anymore is the most scariest notion for me. Spending time with my family, reading my favorite novels, riding and caring for horses, visiting lighthouses and my fave zoo, and going to the ocean to listen to the waves and view the dolphins swimming past.

I wish I was immortal but wishes don’t really come true except my wish for my wonderful family.