Family…..

Why is it that family can be the ones to hurt you the most?

Is it because your heart is the most open with with them?

It seems that they can call you all the time but when another family member comes to visit, you are then ignored as if you don’t even exist anymore.

This has happened alot and I do my best not to let it bother me but it does. I need to harden my heart I think from now on.

Maybe then I won’t feel so hurt by my own family.

Family hurt, or the pain caused by family members, can be particularly distressing because of the close relationships involved. It can stem from a variety of issues, including aggression, lack of affection, neglect, or even violence. When family hurts, it can be challenging to navigate the emotional fallout and find ways to heal. 

Here’s a more detailed look at family hurt: 

1. Why Family Hurts So Much: 

• Proximity and Intimacy:Family members are typically the people we are closest to, sharing deep emotional bonds. 
• Expectations and Betrayal:We often have high expectations for family love and support, and their actions can feel like a betrayal when they cause pain. 
• Formative Influence:Families shape our early lives, and their behaviors can have a lasting impact on our emotional development. 
• Intergenerational Patterns:Dysfunctional family patterns can be passed down through generations, creating cycles of hurt and pain. 

2. Common Types of Family Hurt: 

• Aggression:Belittling, criticism, controlling behavior, and even physical or verbal abuse can cause significant emotional damage. 
• Lack of Affection:Absence of verbal or physical affection, lack of support or encouragement, and feeling emotionally distant can create feelings of loneliness and insecurity. 
• Neglect:Ignoring or not paying attention to family members’ needs, emotional or otherwise, can be deeply hurtful. 
• Betrayal:Broken trust, secrets, or actions that go against family values can lead to feelings of anger and resentment. 

3. Coping with Family Hurt: 

• Acknowledge the Pain:It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and validate your experience of hurt, rather than dismissing them. 
• Seek Support:Talk to a trusted friend, therapist, or support group about your experiences. 
• Set Boundaries:Establish healthy boundaries with family members who are causing you pain, limiting contact or communication if necessary. 
• Practice Self-Care:Engage in activities that help you relax, reduce stress, and nurture your emotional well-being. 
• Consider Forgiveness:While it may be difficult, forgiveness can be a powerful step towards healing, even if the other person doesn’t change. 
• Seek Professional Help:If family hurt is significantly impacting your mental health, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. 
• Focus on Your Own Well-being:Prioritize your own healing and growth, even if it means making difficult decisions about your relationships with family members. 

4. Moving Forward: 

• Releasing Old Hurts:Letting go of past hurts is crucial for emotional well-being and can lead to healthier relationships in the future. 
• Building Healthy Relationships:Cultivate strong, supportive relationships with friends, partners, or chosen family who offer love and understanding. 
• Breaking Negative Cycles:By understanding your own patterns and setting boundaries, you can break free from negative family dynamics and create a healthier future for yourself.